This week I've been pondering the past year. What a roller coaster ride. It was about a year ago that we decided that Heath could no longer stay in his work environment. We had been praying for a year about what to do and where we could find a new job. I never imagined we would be where we are now. I guess it took a year for things to get so miserable that we would consider leaving Utah. Right before Christmas 2011 we made the difficult decision to take a huge leap of faith and leave home and family behind to move to what we hoped would be greener pastures.
I've been thinking about the time I was alone with the kids while Heath started his new job in KC. I was lonely, and stressed, but I was never scared about moving, just a little sad. I knew since I wasn't scared that it was the right decision for us. But I kept wondering why things weren't falling into place so easily. House wasn't selling, we were having a difficult time finding a new home, we were having a difficult time with the seller of our new home, and it was just plain hard being apart.
Now, I am not a very outgoing person (although I've gotten better over the years) and I've never like to have to ask for help. So while I was alone I had to take offers of help and at times I had to learn to ask for help. This is something I still struggle with and may struggle with forever. I had so many people from the ward ask me what I needed, and most of the time I turned them away. My excuse was because I had family close by, and I really depended on them. It is easier for me to ask my family to be inconvenienced than it is for me to ask anyone else. Needless to say I think that because I rarely asked for help from my ward I always distanced myself and therefore my ability to make friends was hindered.
This morning I took some emergency chocolate to a friend who lost a loved one. I showed up at her door and chatted for just a few minutes, told her I cared, and offered my help. She has family close by and friends around to help and comfort. She was still thankful for my offering. So as I drove away this is what I thought of:
So here I am, 1000 miles away from my family, and now I have to ask for help from those other than my family members. And I'm still not very good at it. This week alone I've had 2 experiences that seem trivial but were exactly what I needed.
Sunday I was sick. I made it through church and was about to take everyone home. I stopped by the bishop's office to talk to Heath before I left. Both bishopric counselors were there. One asked if I was ok (I hope I didn't look to pathetic). I said I wasn't feeling well. They sent Heath home to help out. I told them I'd be fine until he finished up at church but their comment was, "If we can't make our own wives happy, we'll make you happy." I really did think I'd be ok and I didn't want to keep Heath from fulfilling his calling, but when I got home my head was pounding. Heath sent me to bed and took care of everything else (he even broke the Sabbath to get me some good pain meds and a coke.) I was so glad that he was sent home because I really did need him. The next day one of those great brothers checked in to see if I was feeling better and if we needed anything.
My 2nd experience was the day when I asked in a facebook post where some good places were to find cheep items for Ben's 3rd grade play. The windows of heaven were opened and offers of help came left and right. I ended up being able to borrow the necessary items and did not have to spend a penny on any of it.
Like I said, these experiences were not a huge deal, and as I sit and think about it I have had tons of experiences like these since I've been here. But since these are so fresh I learned a huge lesson from them. I have friends. I have people who care. I have people that WANT to help me. I have a ward that is glad to have my family here. I am not alone. Everyone takes care of everyone. When there is a call for help there are people lining up to make sure things are ok. And when I delivered some chocolates to a sister in mourning I just thought that I am so glad I can be a part of that.
To my new ward family I thank you! There have been many times during the past month that I've wondered why it was that we ended up here. And my answer has been, Why not? Challenges will come no matter where I live, and who's to say I wouldn't have had the same problems in some other house. (I hate plumbing issues.) I'm surrounded by amazing people and now that I've let myself receive help and comfort from those other than my immediate family, I've been blessed by being a part of a new "family".
Any by the way, we have moved on to greener pastures. The decision to take a job in Kansas City was the right one.
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